right now I SHOULD be working on my paper that's due in 4 and a half hours...and yet...i've done everything but. I intend to fill a lot of space with images and "important" tables and such. visuals! she said visuals were very important...but that's not exactly what i felt compelled to write about.
it's my dynamic relationship with Paris...i can't say France but i don't put those two in the same category and I don't feel like I know the rest of France to comment on it at all.
BUT PARIS, on my dear city I could write volumes, especially how often i go back and forth on wanting to get back to the states and my fam... and within 5 minutes, I can't imagine leaving Paris.
It's really different than every other time i've been abroad. and i have moments where I miss Dublin so much! and now i wanna spend a semester in Geneva and one in Sydney! I really should've done another study abroad! i say that at the same time as I really wish i could be home sooner...and with my family in Illinois
...and with my friends in Boston
...and continue on here for another semester
I think it's partially the language thing. I don't feel like i've gotten as far as I should've with my french and just feel if i had another 2 months I could really do something with it and be where I feel like I should be. so for this last month I'm really gonna try and use it more...AKA all the time!
i guess at the end of it all, i just feel so cut into a million pieces and none is any stronger than the other. tough stuff.
and that's the problem with falling so fast.
i fall for where i am...and a part of me is lost there forever...and i can't take it back.
the attachment is there...
and not everyone understands that. but those that do, understand a huge part of me.
a part of myself that i'm not sure yet how to deal with...maybe that will be my mission in life. satisfying this extremely complex, divided part of myself.
in the meantime, i'll go with whatever comes to me. cause really, what other choice do i have?