exactly a month

so i've been here exactly 30 days...and am listening to the 500 days of summer soundtrack (not really important information, i just appreciate the number + days coincidence)

and i've figured out several things:

-i'm impatient about my internship

-i've just started to feel like my french is getting somewhere

-i have a semi-unhealthy relationship with coffee

-sometimes the french need to chill out and wear brighter colors and smile

-i'm not sure i'll ever get sick of this song "Sweet Disposition" very gratifying for a multitude of reasons

-i should be going to bed right now...i have my midterm tomorrow

-i'm not gonna want to wake up tomorrow, BUT i'll try to remember to say "Rabbit, rabbit!" when i do

-i'm not sure i'm ever gonna be completely satisfied with any one country cause they're too much of one thing or many things. traveling is like having a bunch of friends that you appreciate for different reasons and do different things with: someone to go to the party with, someone to go to the theatre, someone to go to the movies, someone to just sit and have a coffee with, someone for the museums, and the best friend is one you don't have to do anything with...you just enjoy being together.

I'm still working on my country "best friend"

I'm honestly not sure if i'll ever find it, or if i need to...something to think about

don't mess....

so i just about 45 minutes on the phone with Bank of America who i clearly told i would be out of the country but who kept calling my dear poor mother warning of suspicious activity (of which there was none)

SO i called them so they'd quit bothering and calling and to make sure they didn't put a hold on anything. And after 15 mins of being bounced around i got INTO IT with some chick who was saying i answered my own damn questions wrong and that i'd have to fax in two forms of i.d. to which i responded "oh HELL no!" and told her that if i called and got someone else that i wouldn't have to deal with anything and that poutain/salope went and said i had suspicious activity on my account TODAY!!! and she was clearly messing with the wrong girl! because i AM who i say i AM i got the email and immediately called the exact same dept. got a different NICER person with whom i answered the questions the exact same way and got through and everything was cleared up! GO FIGURE!!! don't tell me i'm wrong, when i'm RIGHT!!!!

so NEGH! i was VERY nice to the other 3 people i spoke to because we didn't have beef and i have found things normally go better when you're very polite to them...but chick messed with the WRONG girl at the WRONG TIME! but it was quite good because i basically gotta vent all my frustration that inevitably builds up...in a constructive way! (on some YOTCH from B of A, who clearly deserved it for being so intractable) i mean i'm very emotionally healthy now and ready to progress with my language learning without a breakdown (which i very much expected) i actually hope i get to talk to her in another month and a half when i may need to vent again....

the road abroad is bumpy sometimes, because of language, because of the misunderstandings from language, because of the fatigue from the misunderstandings from language, and from the grumps that appear because of the fatigue from the misunderstandings from language....

but i've glided over the first one without crying...maybe gritted-teeth talking...but no crying or yelling. i dare say we're good for the moment.

also the above is a cool thing near my school which is near the tour eiffel

things i do and did

SO

first and foremost, a round of applause for no coffee or pastries! yes, it is possible. and Yes, i'm very proud of myself!

I also found great FREE things...you know exciting, hopping places where i can meet people and chat it up! like....the Louvre...and the Montparnasse cemetery! yay!!!

i actually loved how delightfully quiet it was....is that weird?

and the Louvre, is perfect. period. i will be going back there many a time, hang out in Napoleon III's apartments, you know, the us-.

but i've got my presentation tomorrow...and require beauty sleep!

weekend focus

ok, so i have firefox back! i'll actually be able to put up pictorals again! it's very exciting.

they always say it's important to have goals in life... life is too far away, but i have some goals for this weekend:
- be out and about
- speak lots of french (even w/ Americans)
- find FREE things
- try NOT to buy a coffee or pastry anywhere (this is actually the most difficult in Paris, in fact, nearly impossible... this is the one for which i can be really proud if i accomplish it)
- study like a beast for midterms ( they came too quickly, but who knows, maybe studying french will actually make my french better... WEIRD!)
- put up pictures!!!
-figure out where i'm going for fall break (somewhere CHEAP)

so we'll see, this should be productive!

things that are true

1. i'm terrible with French keyboards...there are too many crazy accent things

2. i'm bad at updating my blog because i was obsessed w/ watching How I Met Your Mother...

but now i'm gonna try REAL hard to be better

bidding farewell and a BONJOUR

so i had to bid adieu to Boston yesterday, via a rain-soaked journey to Coolidge Corner and back!

i thanked the giant puddles that give me an excuse to do grand jete's in the street!

and CAS for always being open when i need it...pit stops, a moment of zen, a moment of dry, i feel like it's my own personal Room of Requirement.

i made lovely friends at the B of A and did informative and important things

and somehow in all this, with a little help from my friends, i packed!

AND was underweight with BOTH suitcases...ah thank you!

and i had a couple weird moments of deja vu as i walked into Logan's Int'l. terminal and up to the Aer Lingus counter. And then i was on the runway, leaving for Dubbers, and realized what was happening! I squealed and cried a bit to myself when the welcomed everyone in Gaelic and saw the hills to the north of dublin as i enjoyed my muffin and coffee. I wish so much that i could run out of the airport and stay for a bit but then i realized that i'm going to Paris...

i'm going to LIVE in Paris! and speak French everyday and haven't I been looking forward to this exact moment since Oh...ABOUT the time i began taking French in 7th grade. And when i get on my final flight to Charles de Gaulle in about an hour, then i see the land on the other side of a smaller blue than the big one i flew over last night, it's gonna hit me hard.

i was able to save myself a few and book the shuttle for my arrival which HOPEFULLY i'll be able to find. and when she spoke French on the phone, i remembered that I'd have to do that too. exciting but then i got the pit in my stomach that came before Brazil and came before China...

the knot that says, "why yes, you will embarrass yourself, probably multiple times!" the one that says, "just keep trying and then getting your coffee entirely in French will be a proud moment that'll make you wanna wear a beret!"

the one that also says, "you got yourself into this again!? you're a glutton for punishment sometimes"

but i think i'm ready to embrace all of that, and be excited about it!

side notes:

irish guys, not as attractive as i remembered (curse that rose-colored fog of nostaligia)

americans, surprising how quickly they start to seem annoying and uncouth again...very vexing.

(i love americans, we're ridiculous, but i need a few that i can point to and say proudly, "YES, we have the same Motherland" but those always seem sparse when i travel, where are we hiding them??)

i have an unhealthy love for airports, i find them strangely zen.

i looked over our orientation schedule AND our calendar for the semester and i think Paris and i will get along swimmingly, we have such similar interests and they are all present and accounted for in our calendar: pique-niques! cinema + crepe nights (perfection much?) theatre outings; cooking classes; and museums!! so many museums! this will go well!

beyond my means!

so this website...
it really has consumed me. i just get so frustrated because i know what i want, and in some senses, how to do it. but i don't know quite enough to connect it all, keep it all together, and create the new site.

i'm great with getting something and playing around on it til i know what i'm doing with it. problem is, there's no one here to say: this is what i did. so i dont' know enough, to know how to change it. This is driving me crazy. it really is too much for me. BUT maybe somehow i can figure it all out. i'll keep asking questions and getting what information i can, when i can...

and also know when to say "i can't" (right now) EVENTUALLY i always can. but not just yet...