so this website...
it really has consumed me. i just get so frustrated because i know what i want, and in some senses, how to do it. but i don't know quite enough to connect it all, keep it all together, and create the new site.
i'm great with getting something and playing around on it til i know what i'm doing with it. problem is, there's no one here to say: this is what i did. so i dont' know enough, to know how to change it. This is driving me crazy. it really is too much for me. BUT maybe somehow i can figure it all out. i'll keep asking questions and getting what information i can, when i can...
and also know when to say "i can't" (right now) EVENTUALLY i always can. but not just yet...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
"...it almost pays for the thud"
thud.
i guess i shouldn't throw in the towel so soon when i don't even know.
maybe that's precisely my problem, i smell the hints of trouble and i abandon ship rather than fight it out to the end. not because i assume the worse, but assume the non-ideal...
i can make myself happy in any situation in any other aspect of my life, so why do i see this as a non-negotiable? i guess i always have. i guess i didn't think there was any other way to go...or maybe it's because i see the extremely adverse effects of trying to make one's self happy in those situations.
perhaps, perhaps....perhaps.
maybe i'll wait this one out and see. maybe i need to take my optimism and enthusiasm for other things and apply it.
it's also so much easier for me to sit on the outside and say "think about this, consider that. say this, ask that." i can't gain perspective on myself and unfortunately, i've put myself into such a situation that doesn't really enable any impartial third party observers that could advise or assist in any truly helpful way.
or maybe i should follow the voice in my head. i just can't decide if it's negative or merely realistic...
i do know that i will continue to attract what i have been:
opportunities and choices are out there.
they are making themselves available to me.
i am perfectly capable of attaining them.
i am already possessing them,
in my head.
Step 1!
i guess i shouldn't throw in the towel so soon when i don't even know.
maybe that's precisely my problem, i smell the hints of trouble and i abandon ship rather than fight it out to the end. not because i assume the worse, but assume the non-ideal...
i can make myself happy in any situation in any other aspect of my life, so why do i see this as a non-negotiable? i guess i always have. i guess i didn't think there was any other way to go...or maybe it's because i see the extremely adverse effects of trying to make one's self happy in those situations.
perhaps, perhaps....perhaps.
maybe i'll wait this one out and see. maybe i need to take my optimism and enthusiasm for other things and apply it.
it's also so much easier for me to sit on the outside and say "think about this, consider that. say this, ask that." i can't gain perspective on myself and unfortunately, i've put myself into such a situation that doesn't really enable any impartial third party observers that could advise or assist in any truly helpful way.
or maybe i should follow the voice in my head. i just can't decide if it's negative or merely realistic...
i do know that i will continue to attract what i have been:
opportunities and choices are out there.
they are making themselves available to me.
i am perfectly capable of attaining them.
i am already possessing them,
in my head.
Step 1!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)