Yesterday saw a refreshing change of pace that will be my future! Apparently, my location A.D.D. is just as present here in Rwanda. Luckily, I think the life of a PCV and my project and life will satisfy it. Yesterday, I got to have adventure time with my friend Alex, the 2nd nearest PCV, and the nearest from my group! Twas lovely! I didn't really have a reason to be down there, so I'm glad I asked the priests about it and hitched a ride down there! I got a free meal (which is a blessing in these days of infinite toast, ramen, and random veggies with little sauce over rice). AND I got to go on a hike up a hill and we found a spot to chill and chat on rocks. It was awesome! So that took up my whole day yesterday and today I'm just doing some cleaning (incl. my awful giant pile of laundry) and making my kinyarwanda study plans and working on my budget and setting things up for my day tomorrow in Kigali -the magical place of iced coffee, pizza and free wifi! They discourage us from spending too much time there since it is such a muzungu place (white people) and also, NOT our sites. Makes sense, but making it the forbidden land I think creates even more appeal. That could also just be my contrary nature. Can't help it, totally inherited that one from my dear mother. Unfortunately for Dad, we all did.
Triumph of the day- finding eggs! it only took 2 weeks! but it did require a change in perspective and talking to the right people. I was going about looking for them the muzungu way, searching in shops and asking the owners...NOT the way to do it here. I was having tea and introducing on of the umucozi's (houseperson) to Peanut Butter (which they always LOVE) and asking her what she was up to for the day. She said she was making an omlette and lunch for some guests of the parish. So I asked where she was gonna buy the eggs and she looked at me like i was dumb and answered "from the priests [duh]" who just live up the hill. So I asked her if she could pick some up for me and she's replied, "of course, how many do you want"...wow. so easy...IF i can get things the Rwandan way. consider this lesson learned.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
On a day like today...
The long and winding road...(goes in a circle in Rwanda). Today has been like so many others, it's simply up and down...a constant flux between, "what am I doing here?" and "look at all that I could (see, learn, etc.) do here!" This weekend was absolute madness because we had a 'Youth Conference' and the thing is, I'm sure whatever you're picturing is not how this was. First of all, the thing was centered around the Center that I happen to live in. So if the thought of a couple hundred kids running around isn't scary enough, now put them right outside the door. Keep in mind, the compound I live in has a hallway of rooms and then a courtyard, off the courtyard are the toilets (pits), showers, and kitchen. So to go anywhere outside of my room I was bombarded with the kids being like "Good morning! Howe areee YU?" which sounds pleasant, until they stare and watch everything you do. closely.
Now when I went in for my Peace Corps interview, they ask a bunch of questions, including "How do you feel about living with the Fishbowl Effect (aka, everyone watching your every move)?" And you know i was all confident and said, "Oh after being in Beijing where people will take photos of you and with you, when they don't know you and talk about the waiguoren and Brazil where everyone knew who the American was I'm sure I can get used to it" Neither of those could have prepared me for this level of interest. I got used to it during training, but I also usually had back-up of a couple other trainees to diffuse everything, or I was with my family. I can make a game of it most of the time, like when the kids follow and touch your arm or leg to make sure you feel human I'll touch them back or joke around with them. In church, I've just gotten used to the stares and I can just zone out. But, it's still intimidating when the kids swarm you. I can't wait for the day when this doesn't bug me as much. It'll come.
SO, i got a great deal of that this weekend and I think both the volume, and the fact that there was no safe place made it tough. But then the really confusing part of this weekend was that I was never really sure of where I fit in to the whole thing. I had a vague schedule but the person I thought was in charge was never anywhere to be found so I did a lot of wandering. This would be fine if I were Rwandan, they just stand around and watch or wander fairly often. They have mastered the art of doing naco (nothing). I'm working on it. I was standing around and making a bit of conversation on Saturday morning while they were making mud bricks and then jumped into the process. It was nice, they were working and laughing WITH me. And then after about an hour, I went to clean up and got roped into choir practice! (Now, when I was here for my visit, I stopped by to see them and they invited me to join, and of course, on the spot, I said yes...) Since then, I sang with them at the Bishop's mass and during a 2 hr rehearsal. We'll see where that goes. I like singing, but all the music is just lyrics hand-written out in various notebooks (no staff, notes, etc. a little tricky)
Then I was just kinda hanging out until my presentation which was supposed to start at 1, but i had no idea where or for how many kids of what ages. I had planned on using the time to do some community analysis and get some info from them while they worked in groups (minimal kinyarwanda, max output). After actually finding who was organizing things, I found out that wasn't going to be possible. It didn't help that Saturday happened to be a day where everything was going in one ear and out the other...i was completely incapable of comprehending kinyarwanda. SUPER great timing! But I made it through the presentation and actually got some ideas of the problems they're facing and then driving home the point that I was there to help...but that they had the ultimate power to fix things. After this, I collapsed in my bed for a nap to recover. Sunday was the WORLD'S LONGEST MASS. They felt the need to recap the weekend, in excessive detail...including the homily that everyone was present for. Department of Redundancy Department, much? My patience is also in direct correlation with level of hunger. BUT I survived...the whole 4 hr. thing.
On the bright side...
I do think there are many fulfilling things that I could be doing here, I'm just working on putting those together...and it's a slow process. I've been given a very traditional Peace Corps position in that I don't have a real organization that I'm working with...or a supervisor...or coworkers. I just have to make it up as I go along. I've never dealt with that before but I'm taking it as an opportunity to make this what I want it to be and as freedom to find the things that I find fulfilling. yeah...that's it.
Now when I went in for my Peace Corps interview, they ask a bunch of questions, including "How do you feel about living with the Fishbowl Effect (aka, everyone watching your every move)?" And you know i was all confident and said, "Oh after being in Beijing where people will take photos of you and with you, when they don't know you and talk about the waiguoren and Brazil where everyone knew who the American was I'm sure I can get used to it" Neither of those could have prepared me for this level of interest. I got used to it during training, but I also usually had back-up of a couple other trainees to diffuse everything, or I was with my family. I can make a game of it most of the time, like when the kids follow and touch your arm or leg to make sure you feel human I'll touch them back or joke around with them. In church, I've just gotten used to the stares and I can just zone out. But, it's still intimidating when the kids swarm you. I can't wait for the day when this doesn't bug me as much. It'll come.
SO, i got a great deal of that this weekend and I think both the volume, and the fact that there was no safe place made it tough. But then the really confusing part of this weekend was that I was never really sure of where I fit in to the whole thing. I had a vague schedule but the person I thought was in charge was never anywhere to be found so I did a lot of wandering. This would be fine if I were Rwandan, they just stand around and watch or wander fairly often. They have mastered the art of doing naco (nothing). I'm working on it. I was standing around and making a bit of conversation on Saturday morning while they were making mud bricks and then jumped into the process. It was nice, they were working and laughing WITH me. And then after about an hour, I went to clean up and got roped into choir practice! (Now, when I was here for my visit, I stopped by to see them and they invited me to join, and of course, on the spot, I said yes...) Since then, I sang with them at the Bishop's mass and during a 2 hr rehearsal. We'll see where that goes. I like singing, but all the music is just lyrics hand-written out in various notebooks (no staff, notes, etc. a little tricky)
Then I was just kinda hanging out until my presentation which was supposed to start at 1, but i had no idea where or for how many kids of what ages. I had planned on using the time to do some community analysis and get some info from them while they worked in groups (minimal kinyarwanda, max output). After actually finding who was organizing things, I found out that wasn't going to be possible. It didn't help that Saturday happened to be a day where everything was going in one ear and out the other...i was completely incapable of comprehending kinyarwanda. SUPER great timing! But I made it through the presentation and actually got some ideas of the problems they're facing and then driving home the point that I was there to help...but that they had the ultimate power to fix things. After this, I collapsed in my bed for a nap to recover. Sunday was the WORLD'S LONGEST MASS. They felt the need to recap the weekend, in excessive detail...including the homily that everyone was present for. Department of Redundancy Department, much? My patience is also in direct correlation with level of hunger. BUT I survived...the whole 4 hr. thing.
On the bright side...
I do think there are many fulfilling things that I could be doing here, I'm just working on putting those together...and it's a slow process. I've been given a very traditional Peace Corps position in that I don't have a real organization that I'm working with...or a supervisor...or coworkers. I just have to make it up as I go along. I've never dealt with that before but I'm taking it as an opportunity to make this what I want it to be and as freedom to find the things that I find fulfilling. yeah...that's it.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
it's a Two-FER
and fer the last 2 weeks!
July 8th-So we have a little thing, amongst some of us volunteers, that we call Humpty Dumpty Days. They are days where you fall apart and can't get back together again. They were decreasing for a period, but with the upcoming exams, language proficiency interrogation, and Swearing-In ceremony, they are coming with increasing frequency. They are largely amusing for us, and in general, for those around us. (Any one not suffering from a Humpty-Dumpty day initially often suffers a contact Humpty-Dumpty day.) AND our poor, dear LCFs (Language & Cross-Cultural Facilitators) suffer the brunt of the madness that ensues with any Humpty-Dumpty days. Many hilarious and useless conversations have been the result of those. They should be addressed in the Pre-Service Training we receive and how to recover from them (it's just like dealing with Dementors. chocolate is required)
July 19th-It's official! I'm a volunteer! it happened and I can proudly say I passed "with flying colors" and nice comments. I survived my French speech at Swear-In with few blunders and got really excited about everything in the moment. I'm not gonna lie, the cheesy lines about adventure and development totally still appeal to me. Surviving everything and getting good feedback was obviously very encouraging after the demoralization that is mandatory in this adjustment process. I'm not even gonna lie, I'm proud of my "Advanced" status on the Language Proficiency Interrogation. I studied my butt off, i love when that's worth it. But now the real test...
I'm at site! Fivel, the cat that serendipitously wandered into the Peace Corps office one week before swear-in, and I are very happy out East. I would be lying if I said I was comfortable...but I'm gonna get there. I have to accept that it will be hard again to go to shops, with the stares and 50 children in tow. It will be hard sometimes, to go out of my room and force myself to have awkward conversations with the people in my compound. I will likely suffer some actual, physical burns as a result of my not-up-to-code kerosene cooking stove. But on the bright side, I've already been doing it for almost 3 months somewhere else, and while a new place presents all new challenges, I know I'm capable of conquering them! Also, if all else fails, I know I can live off grilled peanut butter sandwiches and pineapple! AND this time, my kinyarwanda is MOSTLY functional! i can hang.
Luckily, on the other side of things, what I was most scared of...finding purpose and usefulness, has been less difficult than anticipated. I still only manage a few hours of actual work a day, but that's part of the job desciption...figuring out your job. This is significantly more difficult than having one handed to you, but then you can also considering everything an accomplishment! I have established that I'll be 'working' at the pre-school next door with the nuns (they mentioned helping w/ drawing and clay time...i'm gonna try to slip some hygiene English songs), I'm working on a connection with setting a Camp GLOW and Camp BE (PC int'l. projects for helping with confidence-building, communications skills and the like for dev. purposes), and trying to establish something for the organization I was ostensibly sent here to help create. BUT on the bright side of this all, I'm helping at a small Conference thing for the youths of the area and I get to do some community analysis with them which will hopefully be a jumping-off point and I've talked to my supervisor about getting in touch with the director of a home for street children and plan on getting back in touch with the directors of locals schools so I can work on forming English clubs there! This will happen! Even amidst all the scrutiny that I have constantly, including the girl that is currently just standing outside the window, watching me work....make THAT conversation, and within moments they multiply and now there are 8 kids out the window...at 4:30 PM saying "Good morning! How are you?" followed by my neighbor slash fellow-compound-dweller and the kinyarwanda "what-do-you-know-that-I-can-point-at" Quiz begins...just another day.
July 8th-So we have a little thing, amongst some of us volunteers, that we call Humpty Dumpty Days. They are days where you fall apart and can't get back together again. They were decreasing for a period, but with the upcoming exams, language proficiency interrogation, and Swearing-In ceremony, they are coming with increasing frequency. They are largely amusing for us, and in general, for those around us. (Any one not suffering from a Humpty-Dumpty day initially often suffers a contact Humpty-Dumpty day.) AND our poor, dear LCFs (Language & Cross-Cultural Facilitators) suffer the brunt of the madness that ensues with any Humpty-Dumpty days. Many hilarious and useless conversations have been the result of those. They should be addressed in the Pre-Service Training we receive and how to recover from them (it's just like dealing with Dementors. chocolate is required)
July 19th-It's official! I'm a volunteer! it happened and I can proudly say I passed "with flying colors" and nice comments. I survived my French speech at Swear-In with few blunders and got really excited about everything in the moment. I'm not gonna lie, the cheesy lines about adventure and development totally still appeal to me. Surviving everything and getting good feedback was obviously very encouraging after the demoralization that is mandatory in this adjustment process. I'm not even gonna lie, I'm proud of my "Advanced" status on the Language Proficiency Interrogation. I studied my butt off, i love when that's worth it. But now the real test...
I'm at site! Fivel, the cat that serendipitously wandered into the Peace Corps office one week before swear-in, and I are very happy out East. I would be lying if I said I was comfortable...but I'm gonna get there. I have to accept that it will be hard again to go to shops, with the stares and 50 children in tow. It will be hard sometimes, to go out of my room and force myself to have awkward conversations with the people in my compound. I will likely suffer some actual, physical burns as a result of my not-up-to-code kerosene cooking stove. But on the bright side, I've already been doing it for almost 3 months somewhere else, and while a new place presents all new challenges, I know I'm capable of conquering them! Also, if all else fails, I know I can live off grilled peanut butter sandwiches and pineapple! AND this time, my kinyarwanda is MOSTLY functional! i can hang.
Luckily, on the other side of things, what I was most scared of...finding purpose and usefulness, has been less difficult than anticipated. I still only manage a few hours of actual work a day, but that's part of the job desciption...figuring out your job. This is significantly more difficult than having one handed to you, but then you can also considering everything an accomplishment! I have established that I'll be 'working' at the pre-school next door with the nuns (they mentioned helping w/ drawing and clay time...i'm gonna try to slip some hygiene English songs), I'm working on a connection with setting a Camp GLOW and Camp BE (PC int'l. projects for helping with confidence-building, communications skills and the like for dev. purposes), and trying to establish something for the organization I was ostensibly sent here to help create. BUT on the bright side of this all, I'm helping at a small Conference thing for the youths of the area and I get to do some community analysis with them which will hopefully be a jumping-off point and I've talked to my supervisor about getting in touch with the director of a home for street children and plan on getting back in touch with the directors of locals schools so I can work on forming English clubs there! This will happen! Even amidst all the scrutiny that I have constantly, including the girl that is currently just standing outside the window, watching me work....make THAT conversation, and within moments they multiply and now there are 8 kids out the window...at 4:30 PM saying "Good morning! How are you?" followed by my neighbor slash fellow-compound-dweller and the kinyarwanda "what-do-you-know-that-I-can-point-at" Quiz begins...just another day.
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