hard to leave..

So I've been living the life of luxury now for almost 2 and a half weeks with just a few days of site in-between. I've had mostly-hot showers, running water and things to cook on that don't involve lighting something on fire. It's gonna be real hard now to go back to site for a bit. I've gotten a little too used to all the little things that make life simpler. Even now, after my third conference in a month, when I was living with a host family, things were nice. I had the most wonderful, huge comfy bed and it was cold enough down in Muhanga that I could sleep with a huge comforter (i haven't done that for 6 months). Needless to say, I slept better there than I have since coming to Rwanda. They also had a TV, so for the second time since coming to Rwanda, I got to sit down and watch BBC world news! I also had the opportunity to play with their two sweet boys who loved hide & seek in the dark!
In other news, that conference was an amusing and interesting experience. When I first got there, I was a little worried that it would be overwhelming. 2000 teens are scary anywhere, especially so when you're one of only 4 white people there. It's only disconcerting because you know they're gonna spend the whole weekend staring and laughing at you. It's not usually with malicious intent, but when you can't hear them, what you're used to thinking is that they're saying something mean. Here, laughing is just the nervous response to anything. Don't know what to do? Laugh.
BUT it ended up being a nice week, in part because I had my lovely host family and in part because of what transpired on the last night.
We were having a "closing ceremony" of sorts with cultural representations from each country (Burundi, Tanzania, Kenya, & D.R.C. were also represented at the forum) and they wanted us to do our own piece as the 'abazungus.' First of all, it was difficult to explain that Germany and America were not the same. AND even MORE difficult to try and figure out a song or dance that culturally represents America. They simply don't understand how diverse it is. I had one conversation with this lovely guy who said he knew Americans liked to describe themselves by their heritage and asked me mine. I was astounded at his level of American-cultural know-how. So in the end, we just danced the Byumba traditional dance (the name of which I can't remember for the life of me) with the rest of our diocese. It was great fun and they got a hoot out of white people dancing their traditional dance. The bishop even got up to join us! I wish I had gotten a video or pictures of it, but I was too busy living it (which is a common problem for me here). I don't wanna get stuck behind a lens and miss something so I guess I'll just have to give you really detailed stories when I can.

birthdays and aging!

So yesterday was the big 25! A quarter of a century! AND on 11-11-11! This post is obviously old and something I never got to finish so now that I have unlimited internet and the use of my dear Amy's computer, and above all, TIME...I'll comment just a bit and then go on a blog updating rampage!
I had a lovely time on my birthday! I finished up my Conference on Pediatric AIDS and truly felt like I got quite a bit from it! I'm working (as soon as I have a functional computer) on putting together a summary for all my fellow PCVs. Afterwards, many of my PCV friends were in town on their way out to our amazing pre-Thanksgiving, a Primus-tie affair, but that's a whole 'nother post! We went out for pizza and had a lovely dinner complete with wine (only the second time having it since being in Rwanda). It made me miss my wonderful Tuesdays at Radio Maria and half-price wine with excellent suggestions on new ones to try! BUT it was lovely and then we went out to a bar to dance and chill and just enjoy ourselves. ALSO only the second time I have been out in Kigali, but it was a great time. It felt good to be somewhere and just to dance and not care and also to meet some Rwandans that were down to do the same things. It's rare here that people openly express liking to go out and drink and dance, especially as a women. Here, there's often an automatic correlation between that and them saying you're a prostitute. The attitude's a bit different in the big cities, especially among the younger generation but there's a reason I never go to any of the bars at my site. I figure it's probably safe to drink with my nuns and priests in their homes; they are a pretty constant source of peer pressure in that regard!
The next day we went to the African Bagel Company in Kigali. It's a bit of a trek to get there, but once you do, it's like being transported to a different world. This is apparently, the Saturday morning spot for abazungus (white people [pl. form]). It was absolutely full of them, but understandably so. There were doughnuts and hot bagels of every wonderful variety and Dunkin coffee. It's kind of funny since there is, of course, great coffee in Rwanda BUT I wasn't complaining. So we sat and ate and watched families and young people hang out in hammocks and little bistro tables around a yard just enjoying their Saturday morning. It was a wonderful deep breath of home life.

being a big people

so today I'm in Kiagli with a completely different purpose. I'm here for a Pediatric HIV/AIDS conference about adolescence and HIV/AIDS prevention, testing, treatment and care. It's also dealing with PMTCT (Prevention of Mother to Child transmission)so I'm thinking I'll get a lot of really useful information out of the sessions and a chance to make some good contacts. I also don't mind four paid days in Kigali in the school off-season, as it were. I'm gonna be crazy busy with these sorts of things all month, which is wonderful. I feel productive and purposeful and like I'm actually doing a job that I can benefit from and I can use to help benefit others. Next week, two days after I get back I'm headed off to the Rwanda National Youth Forum with Br. Dom (who's in charge of youth activities at the church). That one is slightly more frightening since I don't know what language it'll be in and I have no idea of the program. BUT It'll still probably give me some useful information and some ideas for projects. After my talk with F.P. I've realized I'm just as on my own as I've perceived. I still think they're not sure what I'm doing there and what kind of things are my purpose for being here. I got some good advice from our program people at IST about groups to get in touch with and when I met with F.P. and asked him about how to get in touch with them, he told me, "they meet on Saturday, over there," which I knew...because I hear them out outside of my room. Hundreds of screaming, dancing and singing kids. I was hoping he might put me in touch with the leaders so I might have a smaller group to communicate with that I could use as a focus group or sound board for project ideas but all I was told was that they "might meet at 2". So we'll see what I can do with all that. I've decided that these next few months will be the chapter in my life entitled What Doesn't Kill You...
It'll be great though, because one thing people say in greetings here is "Murakomeye?" meaning 'Are you strong(lit. strengthened)?' and I'm really glad that I will always be able to answer with a proud "Ndakomeye" (I am strong).

6 months!

It's absolutely crazy to me that i'm reaching 6 months here in rwanda. IST is a big marker in people's service. . . They say. Many people have talked about how it all starts to fly after the crucial 'first three months' mark. All i know is that another 20 months here sounds like an eternity and an instant. I've come back now w/ a new fervor to do big things. This is a double-edged sword i'm excited that i'm excited for new challenges but it takes a while to change things. . .And it's tough not to get discouraged by that. But i'm gonna try my hardest to keep my spirits and hopes up and just ride them all the way through. Sorryy he this post is crazy i'm doing it on my phone because my power core died.

unique new york

25/10-2/11
I'm looking at a volcano. I've climbed Diamond Head but I'm looking at this volcano and it's smoking and now that it's dark there's a hazy red glow hovering above the shadow of the volcano. This is another lovely reminder of the uniqueness of this experience. Maybe it'll be more real when I get a chance to travel and enjoy the scenery and not be trying to look at all the problems in a community and how to fix them. I do spend all my time on buses (which happens to be quite a bit) staring out at the beautiful countryside. But honestly, most things are beautiful through the window when you're passing at high speeds. It's nice to remember how unique this all is though. I'm here at an opportune time in my life...in a place full of opportunities. Granted, these opportunities are kinda hard to see some times and even harder to get involved in and make something of....BUT they are there nonetheless and when I'm suffocating/getting claustrophobic inside a squeezie bus (twegerane) or waiting 35 minutes to get a service that takes 30 seconds...Ill try harder to remember all these opportunities and how unique this experience, the people i'm with, the country I'm working in, the job...how unique it all is.