So we've hit the halfway point for our short time in Rwanda. 5 weeks from today I'll be back in Dublin. I'm not gonna lie, I'm really excited about that prospect. I've been scouring websites for internships and such for once I'm back in Dublin...it's a small world, but I'm hoping I just might get lucky.
BUT I am trying to enjoy the last month here. I know it's gonna go quickly, so I don't need to wish for that or anticipate the passage of time. In the last week, I was hitting a slump. I was annoyed at all the little things that I've become so used to, I'm typically pretty good at ignoring. It's the old laundry list of complaints really: stares, "muzungu" calls and whisperings, the lack of certainty with things (is this bus that i'm on, which has always gone to the same place, not going to today? will the market be open if i trek out there?) These may sound like odd or unrealistic concerns, but they're all borne from experience...
Sometimes, the energy it takes to glaze over all these things is just more than you have. The temptation becomes too much, the temptation to stay in your bed, under your net, and with your brain happily lost in whatever TV show you're addicted to at the time. (It takes dedication to go through that many seasons of True Blood or Gossip Girl or the Office! not for the faint of heart!)
It doesn't help that the initial burst of excitement from getting some "real" research done has worn off, my initiatives to get more interviews or do some focus groups have stagnated. My fairly competitive self is also seeing the work of my classmates and the great strides being made and getting grumpy. I think I'm also lost because usually I know the steps I could be/should be taking to make things better. Where I should be looking, whom I should be contacting....but at the moment, I don't. I feel like I've exhausted my resources (which are limited as it is) and not sure how to expand out w/o diluting my work or feeling like I'm doing interviews just to be having them. In other news, how many times can one bug a ministry into speaking with them??
I guess I'll bury myself in reading this week, cause that'll help my field report (that's due at the end of all this) and see if that doesn't lead me on to somewhere new or something new to ask someone I've already bothered. (insert Potter Puppet Pals "BotherbotherBotherbotherBother")
On a brighter note, it does seem that whenever I hit a low point, I have an experience or meet someone that brings me back up. Yesterday, I had a lovely burrito lunch and attempted to go to Kimironko (my favorite market because of all the exciting veg & herbs that aren't present elsewhere). Unfortunately, it was closed...i couldn't believe it til I walked up to the locked gate, because I've never seen it closed before and have gone on Sunday afternoons often. No discernible reason why, though I suspect it might have to do with the grenade attack on Friday. It happened in Nyabugogo and it was the first time (that I'm aware of) where people were actually killed, 2 ...and another 30+ injured.
Obviously, I'm well & fine, and my mild annoyance at the market closure is nothing to the pain of people that were there. I honestly have no idea what this means for Rwanda and the DRC and what kind of mess the two will get into. I can only hope for peace and an end to the use of lives of innocents to make a point.
Wow, so not great at bringing things to a happier note...I got sidetracked, but my original purpose was to explain how pleasant the interactions at my nearby market had been. How unstressful, smiley, appreciative the experience had been yesterday afternoon. The mama's were nice and in awe of the kinyarwanda, as always, but it took a tone of appreciation instead of bizarre curiosity or mockery, which is always preferable. Long story short, I basked in those interactions on my short, cool walk home and enjoyed the great sunset from our garden (which i must post pictures of)...a scene I never get sick of, even if it happens every day. At least there's always something to look forward to!
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