Best & Worst

It's funny how widely your interactions with people can vary in a week...
I've only got 11 more days here in Rwanda (this time around, cause clearly i cannot get away from this place for long) and I've finally harassed people enough to talk to me, bringing my interview count up to 9, which really doesn't sound like enough considering all the time I've put into the process! How many calls & emails constitute stalking??
Some of the interviews have been really great. This morning, while I did have to get up far too early for the 7am interview,  it was worthwhile. I spoke with a high-up in one of the Gender ministries here. The guy I interviewed had one of the best concepts of the socialization foundations for gender that I've yet encountered, which is funny because 7 of the other interviewees have been women. In my research I've been trying to assess the relative vulnerability of female-headed households (FHH cause that's all i have the patience to write). In a developing context a FHH, is usually one in which a woman has been widowed, is a single mother, or has had to separate from the father for some reason. While this is a relatively common occurrence in many places, it can have much more drastic effects for women in developing countries where their relative position in society is already disadvantaged. But when I ask about whether or not FHH should be considered a vulnerable population and why, I get some interesting answers...
One women the other day said, "well, it is clear...the women are not prepared for the responsibilities of being the breadwinner"
Maybe it's just me, while I understand that line of logic, it still speaks to some sort of incapacity of the woman (regardless of the reason)
This morning's interviewee gave me a great analogy about a man's brain/ideas being like a moto and woman's being like a bus...one may be faster, but it carries less with it, it has less capacity. Once the bus is able to go on it's own, it can be just as fast but carrying more with it. To use an oft-cited development cliche he gave me an illustration of "resilience" as opposed to "vulnerability" He also spoke of how socialization has constrained women to limit their own capacity. Which seems obvious to fans of gender talk...but is great coming from a man in a position of power and in Rwanda...
Now this being in stark contrast to my interactions at the market on Saturday where one of my favorite veg sellers (a man) disappointingly became a little too attached to the idea of me being his inshyuti or friend (which can be meant in both the platonic and non-platonic way). Just the fact that he thought he could kiss me in a crowded public market w/ no encouragement on my part speaks to the general regard for women, "you are what I want you to be, when I want you to be it..."
I'll save the, it's hard to make friends in rwanda talk for another post (which I may have already done), but needless to say, most of my time has been spent w/ fellow expats who understand a bit more about me, my thoughts, feelings, and my deep love for wine and foods other than rice, beans & potatoes (NUTTY, i know!)