options...

Options seem like a great idea. But they get unsettling rather quickly when they become variables. Think about it, when making a decision it's nice to have a lot options so you can chose the one that is best for you...but it always becomes complicated and headache-inducing when all these unknown variables come into play. You have to make a best guess for what you think is the most likely outcome and base your decision on that. That's all just too uncertain for me, too many qualifiers.

That's life I guess, you only get to decide a few of your conditions, sometimes you get to set the things that matter most, as your absolutes; we all have those limits. But, what if they're only limits given the circumstances of your current situation? If this experience has taught me anything, it's that some things are way more negotiable then I ever thought they were and some things are way LESS negotiable than I hoped they would be. The most bizarre thing and easiest to think of (because of how superficial it is)...cafe culture. Who knew that this would become something I can't live without?? Now granted, I don't need a starbucks, I've created a culture (with the help of Danae) in tiny tea shops off dirt roads where they're milking the cow right then and then boiling it's milk over a fire. BUT it's a cafe nonetheless, after making some strategic alliances with cafe proprietors I can sit in there (relatively undisturbed) and sip my Nescafe and read my book...or talk for hours. Maybe my brain is only at optimal functioning over a cup of coffee or maybe it's the sounding board in the form of the friend across from me.
The other slightly less superficial is the necessity for other people in my life. Maybe I'm best with an audience (inherited from my mother), maybe it's because I was raised in a house of 6 and then moved into a quad dorm and then a co-op of 24... but regardless of the determining factor, I need people. I need someone to cook for and watch movies with. Living on my own is possible, but I just end up talking to myself a little too much.

This is all very theoretical and nebulous at the moment and not a great post after my two weeks absence, but something more interesting will undoubtedly be playing at soon, if not in the events of this weekend, than in the events of the next week. Stay tuned...