better

i knew it would happen, and it is, things are already better, i've had bad days but on more reflection it's more good than bad

i'm finally able to jump into conversations and while the dictations are tough and i'm having to spend more time studying than i would want to, I am actually able to say it's gettin somewhere cause i got a 91 on my test and i feel like i'm in a good place, i do need to stop comparing myself though, it's my natural competitiveness kicking in

in other news, i feel in a much better place with those around me. i am always surprised how who i am comes through even when i can hardly speak or understand what's going on around me! aha

but on Friday night we went for karaoke and dear me, what a time! it was really great we hopped on a bus with a TON of us and crammed into this tiny room and just sang for like 2 and a half hours, let's just say there were tambourines, the Spice Girls and a lot of dancing involved.

then Saturday we got up early and ran around the Forbidden City and Tienanmen Square, which were both incredible and the forbidden city was ENDLESS! i mean it just doesn't look that big on maps, i tell you w-hat! (side note: Sweet Caroline is playing on my iTunes right now and i'm in my Beckett Red Sox T-shirt...it's taking everything i possess not to jump up and down and scream the song! Be impressed by my restraint)

anywho Saturday we finally went out and of course it was fun, good times dancing and whatnot but i almost had more fun when we were all just hanging out drinking together in a room, too crowded, loud and WONDERFUL! aha i did have a highlight of the night, and not the sort you'd expect either.
when we were at the bar there was this man that came through selling some random trinkets and you know i hate it that we've all become so good at ignoring these sorts of people...and i hate that i do it too. but anywho, i was pondering all this and am NEVER good at disguising my emotions on my face and someone noticed and then when i explained that it was because of the man, they actually went to try and find the man that had since left to just give him some money.
and i don't know, it just really got to me...i really like that there are other people who are still trying to care, i understand why people don't want to give them money and sometimes i don't either, but most of the time i just feel guilty that i have so much and others have so little and i don't feel more inclined to help them. but it was just so wonderful too to see that there are other people who also aren't tired of trying... like it's exhausting sometimes to think about these difficult things so much and it seems easier to worry more about the little things that concern us from the day to day than the huge problems of the world.
i just really feel like making one person's day IS just as important and significant as changing the whole world, because to that person, what you did could have meant the world. and was just really encouraging to see someone else that also acts as if that were true.

anywho, sunday was lovely because we found Lush, a Westerners hangout complete with Ginger Ale and Grilled Chicken sandwiches and then this coffee shop that reminded me tons of little cafe's in Montreal and will be my new study spot.
in short, it's exciting to find different things in new parts of town because it makes me feel like i can wrap my head around beijing just a little bit more! which is completely crucial to my sanity!
and now i have to go spend about 7-8 hours studying and finishing my homework...

wah wah

please tell me you're well!